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In the old days (the 1990’s) parents lamented the fact that babies did not come with a really good “how-to” manual. Today, parents wish that babies came with a universal remote. Whenever I am interviewed I am asked “what can parents do to protect their child?” and this question was posed by Dr. Jon LaPook medical reporter for CBS News (CBSDoc.com) who focused on sexting, the act of sending explicit visual content of yourself or people you know, via digital technology.

As a psychologist and researcher I was questioned about sexting and how to control it. I do not believe that parents can stop sexting, but in order to understand my POV I think I should mention a recent article in the NY Times. In Texting, Surfing, Studying? Perri Klass M.D., defines parents as “digital immigrants” whereas their children are “digital natives.” What does this mean? The short answer is this: no matter how tech saavy parents are, kids are savvier.

Warnings: Do they work?

Parents start teaching their children about dangerous situations from the age of 1. By the time a child is age 7 they have been warned about hundreds of ways that they can get hurt. By age 11, kids have stopped listening. They are numb to our words. They see that people who drink or smoke pot are not dead. They know of kids who have cheated, scammed, and sexted, without getting in trouble. They simply do not believe us.

From a statistical point of view; millions of sexts are sent and received and very few kids are prosecuted for doing it. New laws, or a band of internet police, are unlikely to stop the process.

D-Free Zones (D = digital)

Parents have some choices. Parents can establish D-Free Zones, which are times and/or places that no one (not even dad) uses digital equipment. Dinnertime is a good place to begin. In this way parents have some control about when kids use digital equipment; and where kids use their d-toys. But beware, content will not really be controllable; in the same way that parents are unable to control their teen’s drug or alcohol use; or their sexual adventures.

Sexting, like multi-tasking, like facebooking, are activities that are integrated into our global culture. As digital immigrants, parents need to learn the language and customs in order to understand the natives.